Yes, the day that I swore would never come has come...I have decided to go Friends Only. The Power of Google has grown too strong now and I'm no longer comfortable with having strangers reading about my life.

For those of you watching me who aren't on my F-list (I suspect most of you are from mspaint_lolz), you're probably better off reading the comic anyway, since my real life is about as exciting as a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal.

For newcomers: I usually do not add new people unless I've interacted with them before in other venues for a good deal of time. Nothing personal, but I am finding it harder and harder to keep up with my f-list as graduate school takes up most of my time.

I will probably continue posting random crap I find on the internet and non-personal entries publically. All of the very occasional entries concerning the happenings in my life will be locked, as they have been for quite some time now. Thanks for watching!

Last night I saw the newest release in a string of bro-mances, The Hangover. I was already on the fence about seeing it, as it seemed like it was one of those movies where the best moments are all already featured in the trailer. I do have a soft spot for frat boy humor though, so I went along anyway - only to be mostly proven right about my initial reservations. I actually don't know how I feel about the film; while it did have some pretty hilarious moments, I was actually ready to walk out of the theater after the first hour.

I'm going to get straight to the point. The film is problematic because of its disproportionate reliance on tired racist, sexist and homophobic humor. After my last post regarding racism in cinema, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be told to shovel that sand out of my vagina and that it's just a comedy - but that's just it. The Hangover is a comedy that relies on crude, vulgar and at times cruel humor - which I enjoy, to an extent, but it reins in everything supposedly "edgy" about that humor that it keeps it from being anything truly interesting. The opening scene of the movie features Bradley Cooper's character Phil yelling, "Paging Dr. Faggot!" at Ed Helms' character Stu. That's it. That was the punchline. That was the entire joke. Why is this funny? The opening sequence of the movie featured a string of homophobic jokes ("Don't text me, because that's gay") that were neither funny nor edgy, but still elicited major laughs from the audience. Of course, I'm not actually gay myself so I don't know how these punchlines would be received by someone who is. Nevertheless, the heavy reliance on boring, lazy homophobic humor only ten minutes into the movie did not bode well for the rest of the film.

Additionally, the two dimensional women characters in the movie predictably fall into three categories: bland non-entities (Doug's fiancee, Phil's wife), shrill, emasculating harpies (Stu's girlfriend) or the stripper with a heart of gold archetype (Heather Graham's character, Jade). Again, lazy writing, lazy characterization. I don't actually mind this as much as it seems to be a common feature of these types of movies, but in this case it was just so boring it was offensive. The difference between the women as portrayed in other Frat Pack movies and the women in The Hangover are that they are completely irrelevant to the film other than to provide a nagging voice on a cell phone to dampen the boys' fun. Furthermore, a large portion of the films' jokes rely on Stu's monster bitch of a girlfriend's infidelity (she fucked a bartender on a cruise). Okay, funny...maybe...except that this totally glosses over the fact that the heart of the movie is that these guys are out in Vegas for drunken shenanigans - with the implied intention of having multiple sexual encounters with strangers (which they do as evidenced by the photo montage at the end of the movie). This is, however, totally okay because they're guys and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and That's Just What Guys Do Before Getting Married. In the end, Doug (the groom-to-be) and Phil will shuffle back to their respective wives who will welcome them with open arms because it was just one night in Vegas and they got it out of their system, right?

In that vein, I can't help drawing comparisons between the portrayal of Leslie Mann's and Katherine Heigl's respective characters in Knocked Up and the women in The Hangover. While the women in Apatow's film still fall into those archetypal categories to some extent, they're much funnier and interesting caricatures than the women in this film. And that's just it - I don't find caricatures of women in dick flicks offensive, I find boring caricatures of women in dick flicks offensive. Overall, the portrayal of the women just falls in line with the lazy writing for much of the film.

And finally - the racist jokes. The non-white characters in the film are, respectively: a clueless black drug dealer, Mike Tyson, and a crazy Asian gangster named Mr. Chow. I'm not even going to touch this one with a ten foot pole, but let's just say that I just wish they had gone all out and sounded a gong any time Mr. Chow was onscreen a la Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles. My biggest issue with Mr. Chow's portrayal is the fact that it appears that the actor, Ken Jeong, appears to have copped his entire performance from Team America's portrayal of Kim Jong-Il. The difference is that so much more characterization went into making Kim Jong-Il the ridiculous caricature of a lisping Asian man who happens to be one of the most hated dictators in the world that it was funny. Mr. Chow is the equivalent of Long Duk Dong - a lisping, effeminate Asian asshole who's funny because he's a lisping, effeminate Asian asshole. As the brilliant Ricky Gervais points out - it's funny because it's racist. HAH!

In any case, I will give The Hangover some credit. There are some funny parts of the film, but the humor is just so blandly offensive that I don't quite understand all the praise that it's getting. I am not usually easily offended by crude, offensive humor - but as I said before, I am offended by lazy, offensive humor.

STAAAAAAAAAR TREK MOOOOOVIIIIEEE




Also Tritter will be on Medium next week...

Also, THAT'S RACIST

STEP ONE:
BUY CHICKEN

STEP TWO:
BUY BEER

STEP THREE:
CUT A HOLE IN THE BOX

Just kidding, here is how you actually do it:

( under cut because it involves alcohol AND IT IS ALSO IN CAPSLOCK BECAUSE I AM SO EFFING EXCITED ABOUT IT )

OKAY so to counteract the horrific culinary fails described below, here is one of my favorite stand-by recipes that is also vegetarian (but not vegan).

( Pasta with tomatoes, artichokes and feta cheese )

Okay so I made this last night and it was delicious and it just sits and gets better in the fridge. I may be motivated enough to attempt buttermilk coffeecake tonight, if only to avoid grading lab reports, ugh....

THREE RECENT EPIC CULINARY FAILS:

1) Trader Joe's Polenta in a Tube - I have never failed so epically at fried foods. This did not crisp up properly and was just sad, mushy, and strangely metallic tasting. I don't know if it's my fault or the tube's fault. Perhaps I need a deep frier to turn this into fried gold.
2) Trader Joe's Gnocchi - Second on my list of epic culinary fail - they never "floated at the top" as they were supposed to according to package directions, so I really didn't know when they were done...they came out grainy and soggy and chewy all at the same time. Eugh. They've put me off gnocchi for awhile.
3) Pork chops - These were my own fault, I did not roast them properly and they came out like rawhide dog treats. Whoops.

MOSTLY HOW DO I NOT FAIL AT #1 AND 2? HALP, HOW GIRL MAKE POLENTA? HOW GIRL MAKE GNOCCHI? I am distressed at my inability to transform these wonderful starch sources into delicious foods. Perhaps it is my own damn fault for buying the prepackaged versions, but I never expected anything from TJ's to fail so epically. Although their chow mein is disgusting so I don't know why I'm so surprised.

I did not enjoy The Watchmen as much as I thought I would but here are some ridiculous LJ Icons anyway.

I made won tons last night with Grant and a couple of his friends, and I figured it was about time to revise the old won ton recipe I had in my memories, as it was filled with Engrish and perhaps not very clear. So here is the revised Eggie's Family's Top Secret (not so much) Won Ton recipe. Share and enjoy!

( Delicious Meat Packet recipe under the cut )

Also two The Mirror icons:



YEAH, OK.